Group conversation

[YoDude]

Oh THIS is gonna get interesting.

Yo-

[BlacktopTravelr]

Who is this John you speak of and what has he ever done to you?

I also was born in Kenya and lied about being an American so I could be president. :big grin:

[DMIntruder]

I was born in Kenya, but lied about being American so I could be president.

I was born in Tripoli, Libya on Wheelus AFB. My father was teaching the rag heads how to fly fighter jets. I hope he didn't teach them everything... My mother told me she used to see parachutes out over the Med quite often.

[BlacktopTravelr]

I'm not sure where I was born I was just a baby. I do know they burnt down papa's house because I was half black. That seemed funny at the time seeing as how most of them were black folk. Anyway, I live in a big old white house in a big city in the U.S. It is full of monuments dedicated to a bunch of dead people. There is one that reminds me of Bill Clinton except it is called the Washington monument. When you see it you just see something big tall straight and white. What kind of monument is that?

[ddog6900]

Strikes me as a political thread, spoken in the hypothetical. Not touching this the the Washington Monument. :big grin:

[YoDude]

If it turns into one, it'll get move outta here.

Yo-

[YoDude]

Still looks sane to me...My life isn't very interesting, I do have a few stories, but most aren't too awful funny.

Yo-

[BlacktopTravelr]

Aww, go ahead Yo and tell them about the time you chased a moose down mainstreet. Seeing as how I'm not a funny guy I don't have any funny stories.

We did do some training with the Canadian Navy while I was in the U.S. Navy. We were doing some gunnery practice one day. I was down on the main deck throwing over board old shells that didn't go off. We were trying to hit an air sock pulled behind an airplane when I heard a bunch of noise above me where the spotter was. It seems the Officer watching him noticed that the spotter was aiming for the airplane and not the wind sock behind him. I doubt if we would have hit the plane cause we never even got close to the wind sock. But I do know somebody that never got to be a spotter after that day.

[DMIntruder]

Okay, so cc shared a real story, now I will too.

Mine was all true as well.

[PCC]

Ok here is one of my stories...
Disclaimer: The Names and Places Have Been Changed To Protect The Innocent" & As Larry the Cable Guy would say, "Lord, I apologize for my transgression of this parody, and be with the starvin' Pygmies down there in New Guinea. Amen."

It begins… Many Moons Ago it came to pass that on the week of the High Hot Holiday, The Lord speakth unto Dianah and said: Thou shalt travel west to the Mountains, to the Village of Crops, where thou shalt seek out “Steve Of The Road,” for I have given him a Perfectly Formed Kawasaki, which have custom suspension, digital displays, and other Features and Upgrades of which there art Too Many To List Here. Thou shalt seek out this Kawasaki, and know it by the sign of The V on its flanks, and thou shalt admire it and make much of its beauty.





And Dianah was much afraid, and said unto The Lord: Lord it is Hot, and the Village of Crops is over 1500 miles away, and I have not money nor time for such a journey.

And The Lord became angry, and said unto Dianah: Thou shall not be that Hot when thou keep moving, and thou shalt travel quickly and without rest. And does thou not carry the Card of the Master, and does it not have a Great and Mighty Credit Limit, and is it not accepted at thousands of merchants everywhere??

Dianah thought, and said: Thou art correct My Lord, and Thou hath also blessed the Card with Cash Back and Airline miles. Yea shall I put my behind on the Road, stopping only to summon my companions, Riding DaddyO & Cool Jugs of Coleman, and they shalt travel with me for a short distance.
So on the Seventh Hour of the First Day of the Seventh Month, Dianah did put her behind on the Road, and did travel South and West to Mount Vernon, whereupon she came to the House of McDonald, where she did enter the House of McDonald and took meat and grain and drink from there, and she began to eat. As she ate, a great Chariot came upon the House of McDonald, and many Large People of many colors and sexes emerged, and they too began to gather meat and grain to eat. And the Driver of the Chariot also ate, and he was Comped his meal, and did not pay, for that was the Will of McDonald.





Dianah then put her behind on the Road, and continued her journey West alone, and along the way she came upon a Fellow Pilgrim who traveled on a Sport Rocket. And she rode with him West, until they came upon a Great Storm, but The Lord provided them shelter under a bridge from the Storm, and they donned their Hides of Naugas, that they might continue their journey and not become wet. And they did journey onward, and the Sport Rocket was lost to sight.



Having passed through the Great Storm, Dinah came to a stable where she might feed her body, but the Merchant scoffed at the Card of the Master and said unto Dianah: Thine card is denied, and thou shalt not partake of the food here.? And Diana was sore & afraid, and she prayed to the Lord: Why hast thou forsaken me in this place?? And the Lord said: Thou shalt call upon the House of the Master, and they shall tell you a story.

And so Dianah did call upon the House of the Master, and they did tell her a great story of Pagans who purchased movie tickets in St. Louis, and car tires in New York, and other great wonderments, thus confusing the Great and Mighty Credit Card CO, and putting the card in Limbo. And Diana were so afraid, and she cried: Lord, why has Thou forsaken me in Texas, that my bones might rot here in this desert? And The Lord said unto Dianah: Go thou to a nearby Altar of The Money machine and worship, I shalt send you thou dough. And it was so.



And for what seemed as Many Months but were in fact Many Hours did Dianah proceeded West,



and her heat and thirst was great, and she knew that Satan was tormenting her, for the road was blocked for many miles by The Rubber Necked who gazed upon an Big Truck in the weeds. The Lord said to Dianah: Thou shalt ride thy behind between the cars and not gaze upon the Big Truck in the weeds, and Diana did so.



And Low and behold, she came upon The Mountains, and began to arise into Heaven, and the air was as God intended it to be, for it was cool and clean and smelled of pine trees. And she rose still higher into the mountains, and the Spirit of Dianah rose high as well. And the long-lost Sport Rocket did appear, and they knew then that they had followed the righteous path.




They entered the Village of Crops. Dianah spent much time traveling among its roads and viewed its many huts and tents, and then Dianah came upon the hut of ‘Steve of the Road.” And there, in the manger, was The Perfect Kawasaki, as it was formed by The Lord with the help of His Earthly minions. And it had digital displays, and It had a custom suspension, and It had Features and Upgrades of which there were Too Many to List Here. And Low and behold, the Mark of the Eagle was along it flanks and also it bore the Mark of the V.



Now “Steve of the Road brought forth to the table the Pizza, and he did divide the Pizza into the First Part and gave a Slice of the Pizza to The Wife and Dianah and himself. And they did eat the Slices, and Dianah did eat with great gusto and noise as is the custom of those what that art from the East. And then” Steve of the Road” did take the Pizza of the Second part and he gave a Slice of the Pizza to Diana and himself, but did not give a Slice of the Second Part to The Wife, for that is an abomination to The Lord and a Sin. Thus did the Fourth Slice of the Second Part lie fallow in the Refrigerator as the Pilgrim and “Steve of the Road” & his wife did make themselves Off to Bed.


Came several mornings later and “Steve of the Road” said unto Dianah: We shalt ride amongst the mountains, and we will eat the Breakfast.? And they got their behinds on the road and began to ride,






but the Lord was Angered and had laid a Great Fog upon the land, for the Wife of ”Steve of the Road” had eaten of the Pizza of the Second Part many nights ago. And “Steve of the Road” said we must rise up toward heaven, and the Fog whilst be below us, and we shall see for many miles. And thus they began to climb the mountains on their Road Warriors at great speed, and the Road Warrior from MO was made to ride in a manner heretofore unbeknownst to her but beknownst to those that live anywhere but MO or maybe Arkansas. Hehe!



As they rose into the Mountains The Lord spoke again to Dianah and said: Upon the Last Day of the Holy Hot Holiday many tens of thousands of Pilgrims will descend upon the Roads into MO. And should thou wait until the Last Day of the Holy Hot Holiday to return from when thou came, thou shalt suffer and swelter in traffic jams and thou shalt not get home until Sometime Monday if thou art lucky.?



And so Dianah was troubled and in fear, and was distracted when she ate of her breakfast at the Inn Great Big Hole. Upon leaving the Inn, “Steve of the Road” did lead Dianah to the Highest Point on the Great Big Hole Parkway, and there they took many pictures. And there, closest to the Lord, it was decided that the Pilgrim should return to MO
in great haste and with little delay. And she rode her behind to the end of the road what that art the Big Hole Parkway.




And she took many more roads of the small and back variety for many, many hours, until she came upon the West End of Oklahoma.







And there she came upon the Great Interstate Roads again, and rode them for many, many hours until she came to the West End of MO.



And then she rode her behind on those Roads until she came upon the City of Little Dolls, where another Great Storm lashed her with rain and great winds.



And still she rode, until she came again to City of Springs and fields, whereupon she proceeded North for yet many more miles.



As Dianah’s journey neared its end, a Roman from the City approached her and stopped her behind. The Roman sought tribute to her Governor, and made false claims of excessive speed. But as Diana knew The Lord was with her, and had shown her the Sign of the V in the Manger, and he made the Sign unto the Roman, who was abated and left her to ride her behind home.




And so, 3000 or more miles and 168 hours later, did the journey end.

However…



:big grin:

[RoadKing]

This is my story.

I love my dogs, Gypsy and Moon.

I love my mom.

I love Tom and Christa.

I love kids and dogs. Grownups? Not so much, for the most part.

I love my California brothers and sisters.

I love riding my Harley Davidson Motorcycle.

I love all the girls I've ever known.

I love Magic and know I'll see her again some day. She'll be waiting with Cindy, Hashish, Jude, Callie, and my Golden Bear. For now, they rest on the mighty lap of God.

I love my dad, he left me too soon, I hope he'll be cool with the life I've lived.

I love Dorothy. She was wonderful.

I love music.

I love Jesus.

This is my story, or part of it. Do you like it?

[YoDude]

I vote PCC the best story teller ever!

Yo-

[YoDude]

Reprimanded? Seems excessive. Funny story though :thumbup:

Yo-

[YoDude]

Taxi stories aren't very exciting. Got a gun pulled on me once though. Drunken Native Americans with pockets full of cash can be a rewarding find though.

Yo-

[Jolsen]

It was scripted.

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[YoDude]

What's to tell? People rip you off by not paying after you get them home. You get stuck in the snow on occasion during winter. Your rig breaks down on you for whatever reason. Dealing with drunk asses can be amusing once in a while. When it gets really busy, people seem to take forever to get to the cab, or they want to make 3 stops along the way home and you've got a list of fares that's 10 or more deep that you need to get to ASAP, but can't. You make some people pay up front because you had problems with them in the past and they resent you for it. You get the ones that say, "I'll be right back with the money" to find out, yeah, they went into that house and ducked out the back door. Lots of animal deaths, even a crow one time, that one was good.

Yo-

[Jolsen]

Yo dude I got to pee and I hungry hit up that mickey dees right quick. In one door out the other

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[YoDude]

So, while driving taxi a few years back, I'm on my way to pick up a fare. Ahead of me about 100 yards or so, I see this crow in the middle of my lane pecking at some dead thing that was probably a well flattened out ground squirrel. I can tell he sees me coming as he stops pecking at the dead thing and gives me the eyeball for a couple seconds, then goes back to picking at it again.

As I get to maybe 50 yards away, he stops to look me over again and decides I'm getting close enough that he probably better get out of my way. So he turns and starts walking towards the side of the road. Something came on inside my head and I slowed way down to about 15mph. The crow sees this and I guess, figured I was going to turn or something and the flying rat decides to go back to his business of pecking.

When he goes back to his lunch I'm just about 10 yards away and I put the peddle to the metal. He TRIED to get away, but no cigar for that crow, I splatted his ass! It was a good day that day. :big grin:

Yo-

[Jolsen]

Driving though the swamp one day I saw a cotton mouth. Did a burn out on his face. Some little kids were swimming 15 yards away.

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[Larry TN]

This is my story.

I love my dogs, Gypsy and Moon.

I love my mom.

I love Tom and Christa.

I love kids and dogs. Grownups? Not so much, for the most part.

I love my California brothers and sisters.

I love riding my Harley Davidson Motorcycle.

I love all the girls I've ever known.

I love Magic and know I'll see her again some day. She'll be waiting with Cindy, Hashish, Jude, Callie, and my Golden Bear. For now, they rest on the mighty lap of God.

I love my dad, he left me too soon, I hope he'll be cool with the life I've lived.

I love Dorothy. She was wonderful.

I love music.

I love Jesus.

This is my story, or part of it. Do you like it?

To have a story with that much love in it is refreshing in today's world. Just the capacity for love would appear to be growing less according to the media, but they are liars.