Tom's Scrotum
The best story of the year doesn't give the proper praise and credit for this painful but understandable story as told by a loving wife. The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.
Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced. "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain."
We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom. "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, “Thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with unified relief.
The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, “I'm Tom Smith."
The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is Sternum."
TOM'S SCROTOM
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TOM'S SCROTOM
Luck & Experience:
You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck
You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck
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Re: TOM'S SCROTOM
Don't you just hate when that happens...
Good one Harris
Good one Harris
duc, sequere, aut de via decede
"frapper fort, frapper vite, frappée souvent-- Adm William "Bull" Halsey
“We’re not going to just shoot the sons-of-bitches, we’re going to rip out their living Goddamned guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks.”--Gen George Patton
"Our Liberty is insured by four "Boxes", the Ballot box, the Jury box, the Soap box and the Cartridge box"
"frapper fort, frapper vite, frappée souvent-- Adm William "Bull" Halsey
“We’re not going to just shoot the sons-of-bitches, we’re going to rip out their living Goddamned guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks.”--Gen George Patton
"Our Liberty is insured by four "Boxes", the Ballot box, the Jury box, the Soap box and the Cartridge box"
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Re: TOM'S SCROTOM
Ouch, for both the wife and husband.
(putt putt putt)
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Re: TOM'S SCROTOM
[emoji106]
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Re: TOM'S SCROTOM
Haha! [emoji106]
Yo-
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Intelligence is just the right thing to have, to render yourself extinct.
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Re: TOM'S SCROTOM
Another classic for me to once again steal and transfer to Facebook! Thanks HARRIS![emoji106] [emoji106] [emoji106]
Being a grandpa is the bees knees....
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