Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Keep it civil
User avatar
BlacktopTravelr
Joined a 1200cc Club
Posts: 8992
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2014 5:02 pm
My Bike: Stolen 1-7-15 Returned 1-21-15
Location: Eufaula, Okla

Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Post by BlacktopTravelr »

and bleeding hemorrhoids are a double PITA. They make riding the bike a real pain and even walking to the mailbox, 250 feet one way, is not worth it some days. :bonk: Thank God I don't have a mailbox as far away as Farmer Pat had/has. :lolfall: yea, yea too much info I know. But, hehe he said but, at least it is partly bike related :bang:
Image
:putput: (putt putt putt)
90 to 95% of my replies are for my own entertainment :space: :XmasTree:

jonnycando
Joined a 850cc Club
Posts: 1485
Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2014 4:45 pm
My Bike: 1996 Suzuki Intruder
Location: Roanoke, VA

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Post by jonnycando »

The cure is worse than the disease I can tell you....my uncle had his stripped....he wasn't right for a month!

Tbeck
Joined a 1200cc Club
Posts: 7607
Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2016 10:58 am
My Bike: Concours 1400

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Post by Tbeck »

Get them removed. I don't know why anyone would suffer through them when they can be removed so quickly and easily. Particularly when once you get them it becomes a reoccurring condition.

User avatar
BlacktopTravelr
Joined a 1200cc Club
Posts: 8992
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2014 5:02 pm
My Bike: Stolen 1-7-15 Returned 1-21-15
Location: Eufaula, Okla

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Post by BlacktopTravelr »

It could be because I saw what the Arny did to my brother at Walter Reed Arny hospital when he went it to get his taken care of. I don't think I need the rubber band treatment. :bang: Poor guy, I had to drive him home from the hospital he was in so much pain. :bonk:
Image
:putput: (putt putt putt)
90 to 95% of my replies are for my own entertainment :space: :XmasTree:

User avatar
BlacktopTravelr
Joined a 1200cc Club
Posts: 8992
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2014 5:02 pm
My Bike: Stolen 1-7-15 Returned 1-21-15
Location: Eufaula, Okla

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Post by BlacktopTravelr »

Oh wait, it wasn't hemorrhoids, it was the U.S. government doing what they do best, being a PITA. :lolfall:
Image
:putput: (putt putt putt)
90 to 95% of my replies are for my own entertainment :space: :XmasTree:

User avatar
MadCow
Site Admin
Posts: 6281
Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2014 1:36 pm
My Bike: 2023 Pan America Special

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Post by MadCow »

Image
-DBTO

User avatar
JFL Live
Joined a 950cc Club
Posts: 2058
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2014 8:18 am

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Post by JFL Live »

They have a new out-patient procedure that is non-invasive...

Rubber band ligation
_I"T"|[___|___]
[---T--L -OlllllllO-]
()_)"""()_)/"**")_)


You will ride eternal, shiny and chrome...

User avatar
JFL Live
Joined a 950cc Club
Posts: 2058
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2014 8:18 am

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Post by JFL Live »

JFL Live wrote:They have a new out-patient procedure that is non-invasive...

Rubber band ligation

And I wish they had that years ago when I went in for hemorrhoids. The doctor gave me some suppositories and told me to try that for 2 weeks before doing anything else. After two weeks I went back and the doctor asked me how the suppositories were working. I told him I didn't think they were doing anything. In fact, as much good as they were doing for me, I just as well have stuck them up my ass...
_I"T"|[___|___]
[---T--L -OlllllllO-]
()_)"""()_)/"**")_)


You will ride eternal, shiny and chrome...

User avatar
MadCow
Site Admin
Posts: 6281
Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2014 1:36 pm
My Bike: 2023 Pan America Special

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Post by MadCow »

JFL Live wrote:
JFL Live wrote:They have a new out-patient procedure that is non-invasive...

Rubber band ligation

And I wish they had that years ago when I went in for hemorrhoids. The doctor gave me some suppositories and told me to try that for 2 weeks before doing anything else. After two weeks I went back and the doctor asked me how the suppositories were working. I told him I didn't think they were doing anything. In fact, as much good as they were doing for me, I just as well have stuck them up my ass...

:funnylast: :funnylast: :funnylast:
-DBTO

User avatar
Designer
Joined a 1200cc Club
Posts: 17239
Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2014 8:34 am
My Bike: Two 1400 Custom Made Choppers

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Post by Designer »

JFL Live wrote:
JFL Live wrote:They have a new out-patient procedure that is non-invasive...
Rubber band ligation
And I wish they had that years ago when I went in for hemorrhoids. The doctor gave me some suppositories and told me to try that for 2 weeks before doing anything else. After two weeks I went back and the doctor asked me how the suppositories were working. I told him I didn't think they were doing anything. In fact, as much good as they were doing for me, I just as well have stuck them up my ass...
:lmao: That's hilarious!

Thanks for the Laughs! [emoji106]
Image

Time To Ride Country Two Laners. :ShitGrinandThumb:


CENSORSHIP IS WHAT TYRANTS RESORT TO WHEN THEIR LIES LOOSE THEIR POWER. :space: MORS TYRANNIS
Si vis pacem, para bellum!

User avatar
tabasco
Joined a 950cc Club
Posts: 2164
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2016 7:16 am
My Bike: VL1500 C90T + VS1400 Intruder
Location: Long Island, NY, Suburbia USA

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Post by tabasco »

I love a good hemorrhoid thread! :geek:

Tbeck
Joined a 1200cc Club
Posts: 7607
Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2016 10:58 am
My Bike: Concours 1400

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Post by Tbeck »

Yep rubber bands and drive on home. Not a big deal and they're gone.

I heard the grossest thing in the world is a hickey on a hemorrhoid, I just haven't figured which would be worse; giving or receiving

User avatar
BoDog
Joined a 450cc Club
Posts: 799
Joined: Thu Jun 23, 2016 5:05 pm
My Bike: None anymore
Location: Socorro, New mexico

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Post by BoDog »

JFL Live wrote:
JFL Live wrote:They have a new out-patient procedure that is non-invasive...

Rubber band ligation

And I wish they had that years ago when I went in for hemorrhoids. The doctor gave me some suppositories and told me to try that for 2 weeks before doing anything else. After two weeks I went back and the doctor asked me how the suppositories were working. I told him I didn't think they were doing anything. In fact, as much good as they were doing for me, I just as well have stuck them up my ass...

:tongue:

[emoji106]

RoadKing
Joined a 1100cc Club
Posts: 6577
Joined: Fri Sep 19, 2014 7:27 pm
My Bike: Road King

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Post by RoadKing »

As a young boy I asked myself what I would do for issues if there were no doctors nor drugs and I have lived with this concept now my entire life. These days I use ice, 20 on 20 off, to reduce inflammation of arthritis in my lower spine and hips and this natural pain reliever has worked well for 25 years. It seems to me that sitting in ice water for 20 minutes would shrink roids quickly.
“Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more.
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury…
Signifying nothing”

Signifying monkey, stay up in your tree. Always lying and signifying, but you better not monkey with me.

User avatar
BlacktopTravelr
Joined a 1200cc Club
Posts: 8992
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2014 5:02 pm
My Bike: Stolen 1-7-15 Returned 1-21-15
Location: Eufaula, Okla

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Post by BlacktopTravelr »

RoadKing wrote:As a young boy I asked myself what I would do for issues if there were no doctors nor drugs and I have lived with this concept now my entire life. These days I use ice, 20 on 20 off, to reduce inflammation of arthritis in my lower spine and hips and this natural pain reliever has worked well for 25 years. It seems to me that sitting in ice water for 20 minutes would shrink roids quickly.
I'm not disputing you RK, just wondering about the advice Doctors sometimes give. So the soaking in a tub of warm/hot water was the wrong advice for my brother to do? :bonk: Makes me wonder about the patches you see in the drug stores with the name of Icy/Hot. Personally, I'm going to try coconut oil and see what happens. Thanks everyone for the entertaining and sometimes helpful replies. [emoji106] [space] :bow: If there are any others please continue to post them. :HatTip:
Image
:putput: (putt putt putt)
90 to 95% of my replies are for my own entertainment :space: :XmasTree:

RoadKing
Joined a 1100cc Club
Posts: 6577
Joined: Fri Sep 19, 2014 7:27 pm
My Bike: Road King

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Post by RoadKing »

BlacktopTravelr wrote:
RoadKing wrote:As a young boy I asked myself what I would do for issues if there were no doctors nor drugs and I have lived with this concept now my entire life. These days I use ice, 20 on 20 off, to reduce inflammation of arthritis in my lower spine and hips and this natural pain reliever has worked well for 25 years. It seems to me that sitting in ice water for 20 minutes would shrink roids quickly.
I'm not disputing you RK, just wondering about the advice Doctors sometimes give. So the soaking in a tub of warm/hot water was the wrong advice for my brother to do? :bonk: Makes me wonder about the patches you see in the drug stores with the name of Icy/Hot. Personally, I'm going to try coconut oil and see what happens. Thanks everyone for the entertaining and sometimes helpful replies. [emoji106] [space] :bow: If there are any others please continue to post them. :HatTip:
Put it this way, John... if you were in the wilderness with inflamed roids and you were next to a body of cold water, I know exactly what you would do and do so without consultation from a non-existent doctor.
“Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more.
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury…
Signifying nothing”

Signifying monkey, stay up in your tree. Always lying and signifying, but you better not monkey with me.

User avatar
JFL Live
Joined a 950cc Club
Posts: 2058
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2014 8:18 am

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Post by JFL Live »

Reminds me when I went in for my last rectal exam. My doctor is kind of a prick so I thought I'd try to ease tension with a joke. So I said hey doc how about you use 2 fingers this time? Doc is like, why in gods name would I do that? I said, because I'd like a second opinion!

So he did and then he charged me double... :donno:
_I"T"|[___|___]
[---T--L -OlllllllO-]
()_)"""()_)/"**")_)


You will ride eternal, shiny and chrome...

Cuban
Bike out of hock
Posts: 3404
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 4:42 am
My Bike: Intruder

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Post by Cuban »

RoadKing wrote: Put it this way, John... if you were in the wilderness with inflamed roids and you were next to a body of cold water, I know exactly what you would do and do so without consultation from a non-existent doctor.
[emoji106] YES! I sure as Hell know what I'd do, that's for sure. I'd go right over to that water, take off my pants, cut 'em up into long thin strips and weave me up a nice rope. I'd take that rope and use it to lash a bunch of good sized logs together to make me a good old fashioned raft! Then I'd take one of my boots, and use my shoelace to tie it to a stick, to use as a paddle. I'd jump on that raft, and using my good foot, with the boot still on, I'd give a good hard push to get me out on that beautiful water, where I'd paddle my ass off downstream to find me a Doctor! [emoji106]

User avatar
BlacktopTravelr
Joined a 1200cc Club
Posts: 8992
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2014 5:02 pm
My Bike: Stolen 1-7-15 Returned 1-21-15
Location: Eufaula, Okla

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Post by BlacktopTravelr »

RoadKing wrote: Put it this way, John... if you were in the wilderness with inflamed roids and you were next to a body of cold water, I know exactly what you would do and do so without consultation from a non-existent doctor.
I have no doubt you are correct. I was just saying that the Army doc told my brother to go home and soak his ass in warm/hot water and that is what he did. But then the Doc was an Army doc so we'll never know whether he was giving out good information or not. :OhNo;
Image
:putput: (putt putt putt)
90 to 95% of my replies are for my own entertainment :space: :XmasTree:

lonerider
Joined a 650cc Club
Posts: 1027
Joined: Sun Feb 21, 2016 1:28 am
My Bike: vs1400

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Post by lonerider »

BlacktopTravelr wrote:
RoadKing wrote: Put it this way, John... if you were in the wilderness with inflamed roids and you were next to a body of cold water, I know exactly what you would do and do so without consultation from a non-existent doctor.
I have no doubt you are correct. I was just saying that the Army doc told my brother to go home and soak his ass in warm/hot water and that is what he did. But then the Doc was an Army doc so we'll never know whether he was giving out good information or not. :OhNo;
Speaking of Army docs (LOL), my dad was an army medic during WWII, a "surgical technician" to be exact. After basic training they sent him to France at the front where he did surgeries on everything from hemorrhoids to amputations. He worked alongside the real docs, and he never even made it through grammar school!

Post Reply