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Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Posted: Tue Oct 17, 2017 4:24 am
by RoadKing
Cuban wrote:
RoadKing wrote: Put it this way, John... if you were in the wilderness with inflamed roids and you were next to a body of cold water, I know exactly what you would do and do so without consultation from a non-existent doctor.
[emoji106] YES! I sure as Hell know what I'd do, that's for sure. I'd go right over to that water, take off my pants, cut 'em up into long thin strips and weave me up a nice rope. I'd take that rope and use it to lash a bunch of good sized logs together to make me a good old fashioned raft! Then I'd take one of my boots, and use my shoelace to tie it to a stick, to use as a paddle. I'd jump on that raft, and using my good foot, with the boot still on, I'd give a good hard push to get me out on that beautiful water, where I'd paddle my ass off downstream to find me a Doctor! [emoji106]
:lolfall: What a hassle! Wouldn’t it be easier to just sit in that cold water for 20 minutes of instant relief?

But, have it your way... two weeks later I can imagine the spectacle as you drift up on shore in front of your doctor’s office naked from waist down with a miserable swollen roid hanging down into your one good boot. :lmao: Now, I promise I won’t mention that the roid wouldn’t have to hang very far to reach your boot! :lolfall:

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Posted: Tue Oct 17, 2017 4:52 am
by MadCow
:lmao: :lmao:

You guys crack me up!

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Posted: Tue Oct 17, 2017 7:26 am
by JFL Live
JFL Live wrote:
So he did and then he charged me double... :donno:

So I was looking at my bill thinking JFC this guy is making money out the ass, how can I get in on this? So I signed up with one of the top proctology schools and started taking classes. Butt after about 6 months I had to drop out because... I was at the bottom of my class. :donno:

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Posted: Tue Oct 17, 2017 4:31 pm
by Tbeck
A set of wire cutters should do it...

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2017 8:53 am
by Cuban
RoadKing wrote: :lolfall: What a hassle! Wouldn’t it be easier to just sit in that cold water for 20 minutes of instant relief?

Butt, have it your way... two weeks later I can imagine the spectacle as you drift up on shore in front of your doctor’s office naked from waist down with a miserable swollen roid hanging down into your one good boot. :lmao: Now, I promise I won’t mention that the roid wouldn’t have to hang very far to reach your boot! :lolfall:
Well... when ya put it THAT way... :tongue:

:lmao:

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2017 8:54 am
by Cuban
JFL Live wrote: JFC this guy is making money out the ass...
:lolfall:

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2017 11:51 am
by tabasco
This thread is useless without pictures.

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2017 11:56 am
by BlacktopTravelr
Sorry, but I don't have a pic of tbeck to post. :lolfall:

Wait, he's just a PITA ot a hemorrhoid. [emoji2] [space] :XmasTree:

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2017 1:05 pm
by JFL Live
Tbeck wrote:A set of wire cutters should do it...

Rubber bands...

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2017 6:14 pm
by JFL Live
JFL Live wrote:
I was at the bottom of my class. :donno:
Butt I didn't give up hope! Got online and discovered a video on how to become a proctologist at home. I was a little skeptical at first but critics gave it two thumbs up! [emoji106] [emoji106]

It even came with a rectal simulator!

Image

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2017 8:26 pm
by BlacktopTravelr
JFL live, I bet that online course stinks. :OhNo; :lolfall: [space] :XmasTree:

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2017 9:09 am
by JFL Live
Ok, enough joking around... I need to get ready for Halloween!

Image

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2017 10:23 am
by BlacktopTravelr
ooooh, is that the ex? :Umm:

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2017 11:34 am
by old time rider
I don't want to see any real pics! Next month have to see the Doc for a dance.Don't you hate how they snap that glove to let you know they are going to lead?
No music just dance a little.Guess it is better you hear that glove snap ? He does have really small hands for a man. [emoji2] :putput:

Re: Hemorrhoids are a PITA

Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2017 8:50 am
by jonnycando
My GP doesn't do aft exams unless we mention a specific problem. He will ask, if everything is alright behind, and if I say, it's all good, then on to the next test. I guess he figures beyond a certain age, if you have a roid problem you are going to complain. Otherwise not.